Remembering Mark

This was posted on Saturday, June 7, 2008. On a blog I am shutting down. However, this was an important post to me, and I wanted it to be seen by anyone that follows me and my family, as this single event, has left such a huge impact on all of us.

REMEMBERING MARK
Today is a weird day. It was 5 years ago today that I lost my baby brother, Mark. He died at 30 suddenly of a thoracic aortic aneurysm...a very rare disorder that every doctor we consulted, and even the coroner was shocked. He had had slight chest pains for about 48 hours, and even had he gone to the doctor no one would have looked for something like that.So, apparently, it was just his time. I have a hard time understanding that. His children were 6 and 10 at the time. How can it be the time for any young father? To me this is just so wrong. After 5 years, I still haven't found peace. My parents are devastated, his kids don't have their daddy, and Mikey and I...along with our step and half brothers have lost the funniest brother. This doesn't even cover my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, and all his nieces and nephews. He will be forever missed by so many people. Today was bizarre...I would look at the clock and think OK, what were we doing at this time that day? The answer was mainly crying...it just depended where we were at crying. That was the single worst day of my life. I hope I never have to go through something like that again. It was hell to see the look in my parents eyes...in his kids eyes. Oh my gosh...that memory doesn't fade.To Mark,I love you...whether you are here in person or spirit, you were an awesome brother. So many times over the past 5 years, I have wanted to call you. It is so weird to think of never seeing you, or never talking to you again. I can only hope you are in a better place, and someday our family will be reunited again. You are with me every day. I wish you could meet your newest nephew (well, until August, when Mike and Shanna have #2), but your namesake, baby Mark Kenneth Boudreau II, is just the cutest little guy. He does have a great sense of humor, so your influence must be in him somewhere.